A Big Bad World Out There- My Story About Being Cautious

We all Love Social Media! Even if you are in denial of this fact, most of you are lying to yourself about it. However, having said that, there are a lot of 'ifs and buts' attached to this humongous online world. There are many of who really dote on all the attention we receive, whereas many of us are the hidden squealers looking for any gossip that we can find. Oh yes! Many of our creative Online Socialites are here for business too. 

Amidst all this, we often forget that there are many people lecherous people hiding behind the closet, just standing in wait. These people are not on our Facebook friend list or in our extended Google+ circles or even on Instagram for that matter. However, these people do co-exist along with us under hidden facades. We are the only ones who can actually be wary of such people and be on a constant lookout before accepting 'friend requests' on any Social Media Platform, even LinkedIn. 

About two months ago I was browsing through my Facebook account and sifting through friend requests as usual (I Do not add people I do not know or faintly recall either). I got one Friend Request from a particular person named "Angel Asha" on Facebook. (I am naming this ID here because of the reasons that are to ensue) I saw a sister-in-law of mine who was shown as a mutual friend, along with a few others I recalled. I accepted it thinking it is some relative that I am not aware about, probably. After I did, I kind of forgot about it (just like we do once we finish adding people in our extended Facebook list) 

Around a week later I got a notification on my browser that someone had shared my profile picture on their timeline. Now, I usually know it would be my father-in-law or my husband or my mother who would do that, however, I was in for a pretty rude shock to see someone else (Yes Angel Asha) to have shared my profile picture on her timeline. This person had the picture of my sister-in-laws daughters too on their timeline. I was Not very pleased at all! I then started browsing through the photos and albums of this particular person and all I could see was diabolical pictures that were just not appropriate. This particular person had followers who were porn addicts probably and the pictures of their friends were basically short of just a string being cut. The women in those pictures were all out showcasing their not so gorgeous beauty and attracting lewd / vulgar comments from everyone on that page. 

Now really imagine my horror to see my family picture posted there! Or for that matter my sister in laws too! I was so thoroughly shocked, because all this while we have heard of predators and sickos haunt the internet space, but to actually see it kind of unbecoming and quite a bit to take in.

My next action in place was to contact that person and ask them to take down my family's picture immediately from their timeline. I was not going to see any random person see my kids and even eye them for that matter. Despite of repeated messages, there was no action. I reported this as abuse on Facebook and I blocked the person from my list. However, there is no way to ensure that what someone else has shared will not be shared by others following them. I was haunted for a very long time that the person knows how my kids look and that something may happen to them. All this I went through without letting anyone else know of my fears or borderline paranoia. As on date, there are many Angel Asha's on Facebook but the one that was accidentally added to my friend list is not visible. It could be that they have changed their name or identification. Be wary! 

Now to sum it all up, we do know there are many predators, pedophiles, rapists out there who are around us and probably in a garb of someone else. But, we need to be so careful while posting our pictures on social media and our safety is in our hands. What can be done? Although we know this, but lets just reiterate ... 

• Settings: Change the setting on your profiles to hide all pictures and labels from public. Make your settings either Private or visible to friends and acquaintances on your friend list. You can have your posts visible to the public, as some of us are here for business, but the rest is best hidden. You do not need to world to know how your family and friends look, right?
• Friend Requests: The teenage group has been on a constant radar by these predators across the globe. It is so easy for them to masquerade as anyone they wish, like teachers, friends, hunks from another planet, etc. that the innocent often get trapped. This is applicable to everyone. Please go through the profile of the person whose friend request you are about to accept. Even if you have mutual friends, it is not necessary to accept them in your group and let them in, in your lives.
• Photos: Be cautious about the number of pictures and whose pictures you share on your timeline. Not everybody likes their pictures or their family pictures to be posted on Social Media. I am not implying that you do not post pictures at all, however, not all pictures are to be posted on Social Media. Keep pictures that are private, private only. This specially applies to people who share really annoying pictures of their young kids like having a bath in the bathroom or wearing diapers and eating or sleeping kids, etc... etc... This is Not DONE! These are only your moments and do not showcase them as objects of affection. You do not know there is a pedophile lurking in the darkness, till he / she actually comes out and abuses your child's pictures or them in person. PLEASE STOP SHARING UNNECESSARY PICTURES
• Public: If it is online, it is public, unless made private. We can whine and cry about all Privacy laws and encroachment ideas, however, once you have an image discoverable online it is assumed to be free to use. Just be careful while posting anything online, it is a matter of your and your family's safety.  

These are just a few precautions that we can take, because I know how horrific an experience it can be, even if it is virtual. This was a rude wake up call for me and I really would want everyone else to be careful. It can be quite a marring experience and you are constantly worried about your children even when they are playing down; So let us not let it repeat. 

"Let The World Not Teach You How to Go Down, But To Stay Strong" - Ankita

 

(All Pics Courtesy Google Images)
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Simple things in life

Have you ever tried to sit down and ask yourself whether you understand your child or no! Have you ever wondered what is your child thinking! I don't know about others but my assumption is that every parent thinks about these small things at least once in a day. Our child- our precious little gift and creation is surrounded by so many questions and awaits the answers from us.
My child is one of those curious varieties who needs to know everything going on around her. Sometimes her questions baffle me but at times they actually make me think about an answer. And we all know that a child's curiosity is never satisfied till they get to listen the answer and mostly it is what they want to hear. I was once after my husband to get up and get ready to go to the gym. I asked my daughter to wake her father and she promptly did a good job of waking him up. I then asked her to tell him to get ready gym. She then told him to get ready for gym and started pushing him to wake up. Then all of a sudden she turns to me and says, Mom I'll wake him up but could you please tell me what do you mean by GYM! That little question blew my mind off completely. I could not control my laughter but I also realized that her question was appropriately put! These small things take you aback and make you wonder whether you are equipped to handle all the questions that your child's tiny little mind spurts out! Though I gave her an appropriate answer (so I think), she promptly told her father to go back to sleep. That was another moment to laugh on. This is just one of the many incidences that I have encountered and I am sure there are more to come. 
I am sure most of us have had these experiences and we really do not know how to tackle life's simplest questions asked by our children. Our biggest learning curve is when we become parents and learn to read and write along with our children. Sometimes our children teach us more than we think they do. So if you have have any funny and cute little stories to share do that :) It'll simply make you smile :) 

Our children

Our Children

Children- the most important people in a parents life. Children have always been the ray of hope in a parents life. Their gleeful smile, their never ending energy, their divine faces   and the strong aura that they have around them, makes a parent forget all their woes in life. Children in today's generation are far advanced and smarter than how we were in our generation. This is the reason why we need to have better parenting ways to connect with our young ones and create a way to have them connect with us. They do not appreciate being scolded and told what is to be done and what is not to be done. They like it if we give them a logical reason as to why one should not do it. 

I know I cannot beat my 2.5 yr old daughters logic sometimes. She ends up giving me the most logical answer according to her and one cannot deny the fact that she maybe right. She tells me its Ok to be angry sometimes because she has done something to upset me. Now when a child tells you something like that how will you react or act to say! 

One cannot stay angry with kids for a very long time. Its time, we as parents, start showing a greater degree of respect for our children. By respect, I should add, I mean giving greater credit to them than we would actually give. Lot of parents still do not give the due credit to the child even though he / she has done good or average in their own way. Irrespective of how our children have performed it is definitely our good to give them their appreciation. 

My husband always taught me and so has my mother, I need to learn being patient with my daughter, which I have eventually learned however not to a great extent. They keep badgering me with the fact how it will affect her long term. Possibly as mothers we sometimes forget that we are maybe the ones who spend maximum time with our kids. They learn from us and relate to us the most. I know if I scold my daughter too much, her confidence gets shaken. She will hesitate in doing many things. I have to bring myself to calm down to explain to her what she is doing wrong. Trust me even a 2.5 yr ols child understands when one explains to them, even though they are crying and yelling their guts out :). 

I guess out true colors come out only when we are with our kids and no one else. We know we can be what we want around them, teach them, scold them and control them to a certain extent. However, my sincere saying, we cannot own them. They totally have a mind of their own and we must give them that credit. 

Marriage - A thought

Marriage- Just a Thought

It’s been half a decade but it still feels like yesterday that we got married; the day of the wedding and the ones before that are so clear in my mind. There have so many surprising and not so surprising moments in our life we actually do not know where to begin from.

Today I can proudly say that we are growing just like the trees that branch out and protect but are still deeply rooted in the ground. Our journey has not been anything less than an adventure, but not realizing how much we have gained and lost too. But this is just the beginning to the promise that we made to each other today, of being together for 25 years, because anything after that will be bonus for us.

During this course of our relationship we have become everything a couple goes through, from loving each other unconditionally, to cursing our lungs out, to not being bothered routine. But, through all this we have still stuck together and we have many more moments to stick to too. We may not look eye to eye on everything in this world or to begin with even certain things now are not in the same direction J I love the fact when someone can say that ‘the way he looks is usually the same way she looks and vice versa’ but then that has to be a perfect scenario and we got to admit life’s not perfect. It’s the imperfections in it that make it so interesting.

Life will keep continuing and we will keep growing with it; we will go through a lot of turning points in our lives but we can make it through all of it. We have not given up so far on; we surely would not be doing so now. It’s been a journey to remember, to laugh, to cry, to feel sad, to feel happy, to share with each other of what we have. I hope to continue this journey together for many more years to come.

“Life cometh once, goes once; Love cometh, stays forever”

Happy Life ahead…..